The Enemy Is Already Inside — Walking in Love Like It Costs Something

Central Image

Harold's BBQ — the smell you could catch from the road that made you want to pull in no matter what else you had going on. That's what the church smells like when it's walking in love, to the people outside and to God himself.

The Turn

We think imitating God means power — being mighty, crushing enemies, winning. But the one place Paul tells us to be like God is right here, in kindness and forgiveness and tenderheartedness. Not power. Love.

Outline

Crazy Frida and the Enemy Within

Toby opened with his great-great-aunt Frida, who nearly went with Bonnie and Clyde, stayed behind for her shift, and still never changed a thing — eventually dying frozen on her back porch after a night she couldn't unlock her own door. The point wasn't the tragedy; it was the pattern. Frida's problem wasn't outside of Frida. She thought it was, but it wasn't. Toby named it plainly: we do this too, as individuals and as churches — we look out there for the problem when it's in here. He borrowed the old line: if there is no enemy within, the enemy without can do you no harm. Everything that followed was unpacking that.

The Text: Ephesians 4:25–5:2

Paul built the whole first half of Ephesians on the cosmic frame — Jesus ascended, seated above every power, the whole story of history is the Jesus show. He did all that so he could draw a straight line down to a specific, ordinary situation: what do I do when somebody in church makes me mad? Because the moment that happens, we stop living in the Jesus show and start living in the Toby show — where we're the hero, whoever wronged us is the villain, and we make our decisions accordingly. Things get weird fast when that's the operating system.

Truth, Anger, and Thief Quit Thieving

Speak truth to one another — not "I'm right and you're wrong" truth, but sincere, Christ-aimed truth, because you're limbs of the same body and it makes no sense for the hand to lie to the arm. Be angry but don't sin; don't let the sun go down on your anger. Deal with it, get over it, and don't give the enemy a place to set up inside your walls. Then Paul pivots hard: thief, quit thieving. Do productive work with your hands so you have something to give to somebody who actually needs it. Toby pointed out that Paul sees both realities at once — people with genuine need, and people who need to get to work — and refuses to flatten either one into the other.

Words That Build and the Grieved Spirit

No corrupting talk — nothing rotten, nothing that tears down — only what builds up and fits the time. Toby made it stark: a church full of sailors who build each other up beats a church full of polished people who cut each other down. One is ugly on the surface; the other is rotten at the core. The reason this matters beyond common decency: when we tear at each other, we grieve the Holy Spirit, who has been — all through Ephesians — building us into the temple of God. We're working directly against what the Spirit is doing when we do this.

Be Imitators of God

The only place in the whole Bible where that exact phrase appears — and it lands here, in a list about forgiveness and tenderness and tenderheartedness (which in Greek means everything in your gut is settled and happy). Not power. Not might. Toby admitted it in the open: in his flesh he wants imitation of God to mean strength, winning, knocking enemies down. But Paul won't give him that. The one way we can actually imitate God is to walk in love the way Christ did — giving himself up. He noted that the Ephesian church shows up again in Revelation just a few years later: strong, orthodox, holding every line — and Jesus tells them they've lost their first love. Paul already saw it coming.

The Fragrant Offering and Harold's BBQ

The closing move tied the temple imagery together. In the tabernacle, the aroma of incense stood for the glory cloud of God filling the place. When Jesus gave himself up, Paul calls it a fragrant offering to God. And when we walk in love toward each other, we become that same aroma — not merely pleasant, but the actual presence of God filling the room. Toby landed it with Harold's — a BBQ place where the owner came out and sang Amazing Grace in a baritone while the smell rolled off the building and hit you from the road. You wanted to pull in every time. That's what a church walking in love smells like to the world. The alternative is a stench. Two choices, no middle option.

The Landing

Walk in love as imitators of God — not as a niceness program, but because it's the only way the temple fills with what it was built to hold and the enemy within has no room left to stand.

1. Toby opened with Crazy Frida — who nearly ended up with Bonnie and Clyde, dodged it by accident, and still never changed a thing. Where have you seen someone — or been someone — who had every reason to turn a corner and didn't?
2. Toby said Paul spent the first half of Ephesians on all the big cosmic stuff about Jesus so he could draw a straight line down to: what do I do when somebody in church makes me mad? Does that connection actually hold for you, or does it feel like a stretch?
3. The phrase "be imitators of God" appears exactly once in the whole Bible — and it lands here, in the middle of instructions about kindness and forgiveness, not power. What do you make of where Paul put it?
4. Toby said he'd rather be in a church full of people who cuss like sailors but calculate every word to build someone up than in a church where nobody says darn but they cut each other down all day. Where do you actually land on that spectrum in a normal week?
5. When something goes wrong — in a relationship, in the church — what's your honest first move: look over there for the problem, or look in here?
6. The Ephesians church shows up in Revelation a few years after this letter. They're holding the line on everything — doctrine, behavior, staying out of the world's mess. But Jesus tells them they've lost their first love. Is it possible to be doing everything right and still be losing the thing Paul was most worried about?
7. Toby said the only enemy that can actually hurt this church is already inside it — that the enemy without can do no harm if there's no enemy within. Where do you think the real vulnerability is for this church right now?
8. Name one person you've been cold toward, avoiding, or carrying something against. Before next Sunday, have the conversation — in person or on the phone, not a text.